American League Predictions (1of 2)

Good evening, folks. Well I can't say that those A's vs Redsox games where exciting because according to ESPN you wouldn't have even known that Oakland made the flight. They did. Before I start my AL predictions. Let me first say FUCK YOU ESPN. Its bad enough we gotta hear the slurping noises from all the blowies your giving to New York and Boston teams. Also, ESPN, where the hell is baseball tonight?? NFL has been over for a month and a half. Give me some damn baseball! They want to talk about Pacman Jones? Screw him, he's worthless. NFL IS OVER.

Before we start, a plea:

People, join the good fight. Root against the Yankees, Redsox, and Mets. God wants it that way. Fine God doesn't give a hoot about baseball, but I do. Do the right thing.


Any who on with my American League Predictions:

AL East aka the most lop sided division in the past 10 years.
1. Boston - They are no different from last year. We know how that ended. With a bunch of ungrateful massholes a week later. Nothing is ever enough is it Boston?

2. New York - Yankees still have a killer line up and the best player in baseball. Though I don't see these guys getting into the playoffs because of their pitching. I am interested in seeing how Giardi manages them. As Doug Stanhope says "rooting for the Yankees is akin to walking into a casino and rooting for the dealers."

3. Toronto - Flat out pretenders. I want to root for these bozos but they just fall apart. Hey Rollin ten bucks says you don't last half the season. Vernon Wells, you heart breaker, when are you going to come out of your shell and kick some ass? You damn well know you should've jumped ship. Step it up!

4. Baltimore - Got nothing to say here, they just suck. They need help all around.

5. Tampa Bay - Please.


AL Central aka Chiv is going to have strong words for me

1. Detroit - Well on paper, the most complete team in the league. The Tigers could run the entire Gauntlet without too many problems. They got an amazing line up from top to bottom. What team wouldn't want the problem of where to stick Pudge? Great pitching..blah blah blah. I don't need to kiss their dick anymore than I have already. I'll leave that to other blogs.

2. Cleveland - Indians roughly have the same team as last year. Watching that playoff game with the bugs was extremely entertaining. I suspect their hitting will get better, and CC will be CC (fat and gangsta). Alas, sooner or later they will realize that their Cleveland, and nothing can change that.

3. White Sox - Good off-season except for that little thing called PITCHING. Sweet baby Jesus tap dancing on a cracker, Ken Griffey Williams is losing his mind. They have a great 2-6 in the batting order but out side of that nada. Center fielder: ? Second baseman: ?...To trade Crede or not to trade. Lots of problems coming out of the gates. Can't be a good thing.

4. Minnesota - Wow. I haven't seen self destruction like this since Brittney. Nice job of dropping the ball. You traded the best pitcher in baseball for a ball tickle. This team is a good example of how to purposely screwing up your team (see Major League). They got a great manager and a great catcher. I don't see magic happening this year, but by the end of this year we could see a glimpse into the future. Yet, how many times guys out and they end up winning division...oh wait they don't have Santana. Nice job jerks.

5. Kansas City - I'm convinced that Bo Jackson and George Brett cursed them. They haven't been so much as decent in so long. Screw it fellas bring back the baby blues. I'm interested to see how Alex Gordon plays. Royals, its time to move. Think Portland.

AL West aka California wet dreaming

1. Angels - Okay, I'm not going to pull punches here. Vlad is my favorite player (I'll post why another time), and subsequently Angels are my AL team. They added Jon Garland, they got a sick line up, solid pitching all game long baby. These guys playing Detroit and Boston are going to be epic.
2. Seattle - Mariners paid a butt load for pitching, and for Ichiro. Ichrio is obviously worth every single yen they are paying him. Richie Sexton is too busy bowling, and Beltre too busy counting his phat checks. The Mariners played like they where Red Oak, but then ended up throwing themselves into the wood-chipper face first. I just don't see their hitting being enough to push them into the playoffs, but I'm then again I am a Cubs fan. (May make the playoffs but if they do it will be by a game)

3. Texas - Another team owned by assholes. Can someone convince me why the hell Milton Bradley is still in the league? He's crazier then Carl Everett. The guy snapped the past three seasons. What's it going to take? Honestly, I don't even know who is on their team anymore. What I know is this the Ranger just have a revolving door for talented players. Texas get a new GM seriously.

4. Oakland - You guys just flat out hate your fans huh Oakland? These guys can't sell the sizzle or the steak. Tell you the kind of organization they got. They made the playoffs a couple years ago when everyone didn't think the A's could make it, and they did. So how does Oakland repay their manager, by saying "Step into my office cuz your fucking fired." Sell the team already, we know you don't want them. Far as I can tell they are just trading talent to ease the cost for salary, and hoping people shows up to game to watch them lose. Reminds me of a certain movie....

Teams that will make the playoffs: Boston, Detroit, LAA, and Cleveland
Playoffs would look something like this:
Detroit Vs. Boston
LAA Vs. Cleveland

Your AL winners: Angels over Detroit in 6 for ALCS

Your still with me? Good. Fact of the matter is I have a very basic knowledge of the AL. I'm just going by what I see in paper. It's baseball anything could happen. You know that, I know that. Like anything else I hope that some random team steps it up (hint hint) and surprises the hell out of us. Next post will be the NL, which I'm much more familiar with, but not by much.

Some News Before the Madness.

Good evening folks! Just when you think the Cubs have enough outfielders, Sweet Lou says "Shut the hell up. I'll tell YOU when we have enough outfielders." In actuality it makes me wonder if Murton and Marshall are backing their bags for what Audrey Huff calls "a horse shit town", Baltimore. Anywho, the Cubs said hello to Reed Johnson, 32 year old center fielder. His stats are nothing to shake a stick at. He hit .236 in 79 games. I see exactly why they need him on board. Thats because if your Felix Pie and you lose your job to this guy you should live in Triple-A forever. You hear me you speedy bastard?!?!?! Get that damn bat on board.
The "big" news is Kerry "Labia-arm" Woods is officially our closer. There really is no need to get into a dialog here. If your a Cubs fan you know the deal. I'm rooting for this guy because nothing is worse than seeing a guy with unreal potential shit the bed *cough* Eric Chavez *cough*. Bottom line fellow bleacher bums this guy fucking OWES us. You know this to be true.
(thank you Goatriders for this sweet pic)
Next update: I'm going to give my prediction for the year (standings)

Damn Close

Hey folks! Nero here, and I'm quite excited for the new Cubs season to get underway. There's a bunch of questions floating around of who will be our closer, hows are pitching rotation, and how will Fukudome do. Well I can say with honesty that I haven't a damn clue. However let me address these "issues" for this blog.

As far as the closer goes, I believe the Cubs should put Howry in. Marmol is perhaps the future closer but hes so damn good as a set up man. If its not broke don't fix it. Any one remember Latroy Hawkins? Had made you a little sick there, huh? We took a set up man then made him a closer. All that was left out of his short stint as a Cub as the tarring and feathering. As far as Kerry Wood goes, he hit can eat some innings. Lets just shoot a number out there...30 innings this year, I'll be impressed. But his arm is nothing but a porn star's vagina. Also, how about putting Shawn Marshal in as a set up man if we aren't using him as a starter?

Pitching rotation does make me scratch my head a little bit. Jon Lieber? Really? Come on folks the joke is over. Marquis is not that bad...at least at the beginning of the season. Plus the guy can hit. Never hurts to have a pitcher that can hit just ask Mike Hampton and the Braves. I do have faith in Rich Hill. The kid can throw that mean curve ball and his change up is only getting better. In my opinion, he is just psyching himself out. I truly think that if, for some unknown reason, he ends up on a different team and will be a dominate second starter.

The Asian sensation, Fukudome. No idea how he is going to do. Though the past couple of Japanese players made unbelievable transitions into the MLB. Its all faith here folks. He's suppose to do this and that plus dishes. Not a whole lot to say about the guy. Ask me when the Cubs drop a couple games straight.

This season is going to be crumbabelieveable. There is absolutely NO reason we can't win division. Our schedule is weak as hell, and we have a much better offense. I predict that the Cubs will go 95-67 this season. They will go to the series and play the Angles for the ring. We will win and many senior citizens can die in peace.